Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Hobbits... Halflings... Hobos

So in recent iterations of D&D, there's been a tendency to invert the "homebody hobbit" trope to get traveling pseudo-gypsy or nomad halflings of various kinds. Here's an alternative take on the traveling halfling for your D&D game.

Halfling are hobos. 

They wander the world, vagabonds, drifters, kings of the road. The hide under bags of flour in caravans, stow away behind barrels of imperial ale in ships, and tuck themselves away under the provisions of armies. No matter how hard the merchantman searches his wares, rooting hobbits out of your wagons not easy business. They can disappear in an instant, hiding among your wagons and wares. Often they travel alone or in small groups, but they congregate into camps along caravan routes, near coaching inns, and by river and sea ports. They tend to be portly, fond of food, wine, and comfort -- and they can find comfort in just about any situation. They mark secret signs along trade roads and the edges of villages, signs only they can read. Legend says that among them are traveling peace-keepers, "Sherriffs," who right wrongs and pass judgment when judgment needs to be passed in their camps. Wherever travelers are on the move and merchant lanes are open, hobbits are sure to be found, singing songs, eating pies, and swapping stories of life on the road. Savvy adventurers know that a hobbit camp is a good place to get warm, dry, and comfortable, and have a nice bite to eat if you have the coin or barter, even on the coldest wettest nights. They're also a great place to pick up rumors, legends, and traveler's lore. 

1d30 Halfling Hobo Names
1 Long Hom Cotton
2 Angelica "Old Angie" Boldfoot
3 Little Toby Polo
4 Banjo
5 Belladonna "the Knife" Burrows
6 Boxcar Chubbs
7 Bucca "Young Buck" Buckmeister
8 Bullroarer Freshbasket 
9 Cock-Robin O'Manley
10 Daddy Twofoot
11 Daisy May Sweetwater
12 Doc Hornblower
13 Flourdumpling
14 Goldfather Smoothtoes
15 Hammy Hamwise, the Dandy
16 Mick Proudneck
17 Muddy-Feet Maggot
18 Mungo Bootfoot
19 Nibs Cotton
20 Old Gammidgy Gammidge
21 Pansy Applesour
22 Pimple
23 Primrose Mudbottom
24 Punter Bracegirdle
25 Rosie the Burglar
26 Ruby Slim
27 Sherriff Bingo Goodbody
28 Sleepy the Butcher
29 Toothless Willy Smallburrow
30 Widow Rumble

(Or grab a name from here, add a name from here, and go.)

And you can just head on over to the Dungeon of Signs to see what kinds of treasures the halflings are carrying.


  1. Now this is a Halfling/Hobbit I can get behind. Mostly because that's the best way to keep an eye on them.

  2. F'ing awesome. I generally refer to halflings (in my own notes anyway) as "hobs;" it's not even a stretch to transition that to "hobos." Which I shall promptly do!

    Unfortunately I don't own a D30 so your table is less useful for me.

  3. Glad you like it!

    I have to admit, I don't actually own a d30 either. I ended up with a d30 table just because when I was writing up the list of halfling hobo names, I ended up with about 30 items before I quit :-)

    Here are 13 more (from a friend), to make it even more difficult to roll randomly:

    Rabbage-hand Vetch
    Socky "Three-Sockets" Haulm
    Scrappler Twoon and The Waft
    The Lord Apportionneer
    Bathful Lupina Hedge
    Stewwise Tom Kneeshot
    Arry "The Goosebender" Ditch
    Weevil-eye Threadloft of Yord
    Panless Rusk
    Rory "Gums" Haversack
    Reasonable Johnson Larch
    Otho "Four-Clover" Ramps
    The Auld Barnbider